Rejection Letter #2

More resume found poetry, from an epic 11-pager (I expect there will be more poems based on this resume):


What I Can Do For You

 I can create almost anything that you imagine could be created.

Even things you considered impossible.

For example,

if I had sufficient resources,

I would already have created a vehicle capable of interstellar travel

which runs on gravitational energy and computer chips

the size of a molecule.


at this time,

I do not even have enough resources to support myself

and must offer my talent for 40+ hours per week in exchange for monetary compensation for mildly technical work.*


*Such as creating and maintaining Window’s and Web applications using Visual and T-SQL to designing and developing commercial products or scientific devices using Autodesk Inventor/AutoCAD for mechanical components, PSpice for electronic components, Verilog/VHDL for logic design, and CMOS physical layout for silicon design, and many other tools including many that I developed.





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I’m not answering my phone right now. Leave a message.

So, while resume reviewing this morning, I came across a description that cried out to be written into a found poem. So I did. The result is below.

Describe the Lathe.

Identify the parts of the Engine Lathe and its role.

Describe the importance of a lathe setup and the principle operations of

Straight and Taper:

turning, facing, boring, threading, grooving, knurling, and form cutting.

Describe the common measuring rules,

How they are adjusted and the

Proper way they are used.

Describe how to read a part drawing and its tolerances.

Instill, every day,

Shop Safety to every student.

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The Mustache, or I Feel Intrepid.

Prodigals have awesome hair.
This a uniformly charming book- if you can call a book “charming” that deals with issues of addiction and torture and is set in a dark, dangerous,and fairly totalitarian world.

But charming it is.

The likeable lovechild of a romance novel and a buddy cop film, orphaned at a young age and raised in the world of Shadows over Baker Street (another “charming” book, incidentally, but one I will not review at this moment), this book dives unashamedly into that most beautiful of partnerships: the They Fight Crime:

Meet Mr. Sykes! He’s demonspawn! Literally!
Meet Captain Harper! He wears gloves! And works for the Inquisition!
They commit Fight Crime!

There are other characters, of course, and some of them are even quite memorable, but the whole shebang (hebang?) boils down to these two singular individuals who can’t quite help getting rather inextricably tangled.
The prose is quick, clever, and nicely descriptive without getting too bogged down by the world it creates. Yes, it’s a bit of a trashy read, but for such a potentially purple and lurid narrative, it keeps itself pretty down to earth. You’ll want to take this little book home and enjoy its ophorium habit, before deciding you need to help it clean up and get its (and your) life back on track.


In addition, I have recently been introduced to Kate Ross and the World of Julian Kestrel.

And what a world it is! Whether knocking about Milan or promenading through London, you’ll always look smart in the capable company of Mr. Kestrel, the most famous dandy since Brummell. Of the two I have read (The Devil in Music and and Whom the Gods Love), I feel I must give the edge to the later effort- Devil in Music. It has more surprising twists and turns and feels slightly more original. Both fall squarely into the ‘guilty pleasure’ category for me, but they are well worth visiting to to clear the head and stimulate the senses while being not quite good for you. Much like snuff.

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Did you just call me a wicked gentleman?

You know what’s awesome?

These things. Particularly together.

and, surprisingly and delightfully, this year’s Shakespeare on the Common.

It’s ‘All’s Well that Ends Well’ this year, and it is much, much, MUCH better than some efforts of previous years. It’s also a flippin’ weird play. I’ll direct you here for plot, if you’re curious. Let’s just say there’s a douchecanoe and a bed trick. Among other things.

Anyway. It was really quite good. I highly recommend it. I wish I had better things to say about Helena, but she was just kind of…ehhh. I mean, Bertram is probably the Ultimate Shakespearean Douche, but I have to say, facing the rest of my life living with that high, flutey, actressy voice would give me pause too. My usual thoughts run along the lines of : “I mean, yes, Bertram, your life kind of sucks, but do you HAVE to be such a douchecanoe about it?”, but Helena’s voice really put me off and made it harder to like her, which is actually rather important.

Lavatch was quite good (Ohhh LORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD, sir!), but seemed to have wandered in from Brooklyn. Diana was pretty badass. Parolles was ok, but the real delight of the show were the army chaps, particularly the Dumaines. Their scenes had by far the best and most sustained energy, and actual real high stakes were apparent, despite the rollicking tone.  The Countess and the King (Will Lebow!) were both very solid, turning in excellent, if slightly workmanlike performances.

The set was lovely and squeezed everything it could out of its turning stage.  Costumes were…interesting. At times very attractive, at times baffling, they seemed at first to set an era and then wander blithely all over several centuries.  Lighting was quite wonderful, especially when it got dark enough to appreciate it properly.

In conclusion, go see it! It ends soon, and it’s well worth watching, particularly for the price (FREE).

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Also I sometimes practice Tae Kwon Do in laundromats

And so my blog name becomes obsolete, for I have attained a new job that is absolutely not literary in any sense, unless I were to describe my day in high and flowery language. So I suppose I’ll be doing that, since what I do now is really quite boring in specifics.

For lo, at the stroke of ten, I was embroiled in the intricacies of that most pervasive network called Taleo, and forsooth I did move a candidate from one status to another and extended unto him a message of wondrous good tidings. And then indeed did I inquire of a third party network that they behold the works of his past against the record that he had pronounced himself. And then yet again did I make an overture to this individual in quest of his domestic location so as to find the closest place wherein his hairs might be drawn to ensure that he had held fast against any naughty contraband of narcotic effect.

And this is what I do now.

But for those of you who actually read this- fear not, for I continue upon my quest for Revenge (tragedy).

The book I’m reading now agrees with me about how Kyd must have been smoking something (speaking of naughty contraband of narcotic effect).  I mean basically, it (The Spanish Tragedy) starts with Don Andrea being all, “So, I’m dead. I got killed in battle and it was unpleasant. And then the underworld was scary. And now I’m here with Revenge. Say hi!” Don Andrea got killed in battle, therefore, no revenge is necessary. And then Don Andrea’s girlfriend takes up with Don Andrea’s friend Horatio, and then he gets killed, and becomes all about him and wtf I thought revenge tragedies were about injustices that happened before the show begins and Hieronimo is really really batshit. Oh and Lorenzo is Machiavelli’s perfect man. That’s what Bowers is saying anyway.

There is so much yet to read.

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Maybe I’ll blog about this conversation

Coworker 146 and Coworker 210 and I along with Roommates B and N and various and sundry others went to see a film last night. That film contained these images:

Angel's presence really doesn't make much of a differenceThe chess. Always the chess.

And by the way…sorry, JKR. Seen it.

(An excellent time was had by all and there was much general merriment, I feel obliged to report).

Additionally there was Beer Fest. Below are some of the better brews I sampled (excluding old favorites):

Amherst‘s doppelbock

Anchor Steam‘s Porter

Odell‘s Myrcenary

Bobcat‘s Saison

Surly‘s Bitter

Clown Shoes‘ Tramp Stamp

Anderson‘s Amber.

Also very drinkable were OMB‘s Copper Ale, Berkshire’s hefeweizen, and Blue Hills‘ Antimatter.

All in all a very successful Saturday. I’m reading some strange things now, and I’ll possibly get back on track about the whole book thing, but we shall see. I think this, for example, is highly relevant to the aforementioned film. Perhaps I’ll do something about that. In the meantime, I’ve got a Seussical Greek thing to finish up and Machiavelli and Coleridge crave my attention. Which reminds me- I’ve started watching the Borgias. It’s actually quite a bit of fun and may show up here as well.

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Aediles are useless; only praetors are hot.

So, if you’re in the Boston area and you haven’t seen the Propeller Company shows at the Huntington yet, you should. I can attest that Richard III is excellent and awesome, and Roommate N said that Comedy of Errors is quite a bit of fun (apparently there are mariachi concerts). They’re here through June 19th. I’m probably going to see Richard again, and Comedy, if I possibly can, so I’ll save a more lengthy review until things are a bit fresher in my mind. Still, I went to see it with a tough crowd of seven, and I think we were all more than fairly pleased.

There’s been a lot of company this weekend from Roommate B’s hometown, as well as work, and I’ve been finishing up my designing project for CHS, which I’ve just sent in, so not a lot of time to blog. A good weekend though, with much good cheer to counterbalance a certain amount of lame-ish work.

I’m currently trying to decide what slightly to extremely trashy book I’m going to visit next. Fortunately, I have discovered a large stash in my cleaning efforts, and there are about 3 that look promising. There are also some srs reading projects going on, but I won’t bore you all with remaindered Piarists. I still haven’t finished Cranmer, but he’s long overdue, so we’re going to take some time apart for the time being. I know he’ll still be there when I want him back.

Coworker 295 is reading one of my more srs recommendations currently, and, unless she is lying to me, seems to be enjoying it.  I may not be able to repay the favour by reading Young Miles, but I’ll be paying deference to her (and Coworker 142) in this blog very soon.

And now, perhaps, a bit of rest. Tomorrow it’s to the library, out for chickpeas, and then to work.

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